LOST: "The Incident: Parts I & II"
    Waaahhh mommy pay attention to me! Photo courtesy of ABC.


    The beginning of the season finale opens with two men talking to each other on the island, looking out at a ship that’s obviously from hundreds of years ago. One guy turns to the other and says, “Do you have any idea how badly I want to kill you?… One of these days, I’m going to find a loophole, my friend.” Of course, the man who can’t be killed is Jacob. A series of flashbacks reveal that Jacob was instrumental in bringing each of the original crew to the Island, both in the first place on that first plane and also that second trip back to the Island, those who hadn’t been convinced by Ben.

    There are two subplots in this episode: The 70s Gang (Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Juliet, etc) and the Present Gang (Locke, Sun, Ben).

    Back in the 70s, the Gang is trying to adhere to Faraday’s vision of how to change the future by detonating the hydrogen bomb to destroy the pocket of electromagnetism that the DHARMA Initiative is drilling into. At first, Sawyer, Kate and Juliet escape from the submarine in order to stop Jack from detonating the bomb; however, they all eventually change their minds and decide to help him. Juliet changes her mind because she wants to never meet Sawyer, so she doesn’t have to lose him – pretty twisted logic, but whatever – and Kate changes her mind after Jack explains to her that he’s never felt more right about anything. And THANK GOODNESS, Miles says what seemed to me to be the obvious answer – that the bomb IS the Incident – and of course since he said it, I’m immediately comforted into knowing that it’s not and once again place my full trust in the Lost producers that this isn’t going to be totally lame.

    Funnily enough, Sawyer, who’s just been tortured by Radzinsky, looks pretty fine and dandy and then has the chance to get beat up again by Jack. Jack is also pretty damn good with a gun, considering that he was trained as a surgeon, not a marksman. Of course, I’m not expecting any of this show to be believable, I’m just saying.

    On the Present Time side of things, Locke continues to lead the entire crew of the Others to where Jacob is, with Richard in the lead to show exactly where Jacob lives – underneath the statue. Ben admits that he was lying about talking to Jacob in the cabin and that he’d been just as surprised when things started flying around the room. The Ilana character that seduced and then captured Sawyer gets a whole lot more interesting. Apparently, Jacob had recruited her way back when to do this job, and she knew the password that no one else did. For those of you who didn’t Twitter search it immediately, the answer to “What lies in the shadow of the statue?” is Ille qui nos omnes servabit. Or in English, “He who will save us all.” (The verb servare could also be “protect” but I like the predictive powers of saying that it means “save.” Especially since the Losties got themselves into a whooole buncha shit with that bomb).

    After Ilana shows up with the password, she shows Richard and everyone that they found Locke’s body – which means that the guy who has been posing as Locke is not, in fact, Locke risen from the dead – he’s the loophole that was mentioned at the beginning of the episode. I’m not sure if the loophole has to do with being raised from the dead, or the other guy taking on Locke’s appearance to kill Jacob – it’s all rather confusing. All we know is we’ve got a dead body and a live body, and they aren’t the same person.

    Whoever unLocke is takes Ben down into Jacob’s pit of despair, where Ben precedes to act like a small child and complain that his mommy never pays him as much attention as she does his sister. Instead of giving him a pacifier and a teddy bear, Jacob basically goes, “so what?” and Ben stabs him. Jacob says cryptically, “They’re coming” and then unLocke pushes him into the fire and presumably that kills him or something. We’ll see.

    Back in the 70s, the pocket of electromagnetism is activated after Jack drops the bomb in the pit. Everyone watching goes, “Aawww man see the bomb totally was the Incident!” and all the Losties have to run away and try to escape the pull of the magnetic force. (Radzinsky forgetting that a Jeep is made out of metal = lolz.) Unfortunately, some metal chains get wrapped around Juliet, pulling her into the pit. Sawyer grabs her hand and Kate tries to get the metal chains off of her, but she can’t hold on and, in one of the most horrifically emotional scenes in Lost so far, Juliet gets pulled into the pit and Sawyer starts crying and basically tries to crawl in after her. I am definitely shipping Juliet/Sawyer from now on, because I could never see Sawyer behaving that way about Kate.

    However, surprise surprise, Juliet survives that awful fall and as she awakens, covered in blood, she realizes that the bomb is sitting there, un-exploded. Knowing that she’s going to die anyway, she thinks, “I’d rather die by exploding than slowly, with my legs broken at the bottom of an electromagnetic pit,” and manages to make the bomb explode by hitting it with a rock. Everything goes white, and see you in nine months!


    Sawyer: “I don’t speak destiny.”

    Locke: “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”
    Ben: “I’m a Pisces.”

    Lapidus: “In my experience, the people who go out of their way to tell you they’re the good guys are usually the bad guys.”

    Anything that Rose and Bernard said in their awesome scene, but especially Bernard: “Son of a bitch.”

    Best Tweets

    @propernice: If, in season 2 of #lost you told me I loved Sawyer this much, or that some chick named Juliet would be my favorite, I would have loled.

    @DrewHamilton: Was I the only one excited to see Rose, Bernard, and Vincent on last night’s #LOST?

    @dorts: I can’t go to work. I’m experiencing #LOST depression….. Symptoms include over-theorizing, bloody noses and white flashes.

    @nomandalee: do I have a hangover or has my brain melted from the #lost finale

    Questions Remaining

    What will happen due to the explosion of the bomb? Logically, everyone would just die, but of course… it’s going to be way, way weirder than that.

    Did this bomb wipe the DHARMA initiative out? Wipe the whole Island out? Or just change history, but the Island’s still totally there?

    Did unLocke really kill Jacob? What are the consequences of a Jacob-less Island?

    What’s the loophole? How did Locke’s body stay dead?

    To be answered… in the final season!!


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