Modern Family: "Bixby's Back"
    Phil gets ready for Valentine’s Day on this week’s episode of Modern Family. Photo courtesy of ABC.

    Modern Family has already succeeded in providing us with one flawless Valentine’s Day episode and now we have two. Everyone’s love lives were tested and everyone managed to survive with their dignity in tact — minus everyone. Claire and Phil meet up with two of the best characters ever seen on Modern Family, Juliana and Clive Bixby (Claire and Phil’s sexy-can-I alter egos). In an effort to spice up a seemingly lackluster Valentine’s Day at a local hot spot, Ibiza, they decide to indulge their alter egos and go to a hotel to do the nasty. This results in Phil ending up naked in another woman’s hotel room (because when has Phil trying to be sexy ever turned out right).

    While Claire and Phil are busy canoodling, Mitch and Cam are having some problems with Mitch’s coy and flirty assistant, Broderick. Cam comes to pick Mitch up for dinner only to find Broderick thwarting his Valentine’s Day plans (which oddly enough included going to said local hot spot, Ibiza). However, when Cam confronts him about his “obvious” obsession with Mitch, Broderick’s reaction makes Cam think that he is in fact the object of Broderick’s longing stares. This results in the Great Debate of 2011 where Cam and Mitch verbally duel to figure out who Broderick really has a crush on, which brought out the worst in both of them (which is really the best for us).

    Jay and Gloria, on the other hand, arrive at Ibiza, our local plot point of destiny, only to find they don’t have a reservation. This was all Jay’s plan as he had a huge surprise at home for Gloria. However, upon arrival, Jay learns that his plans have been foiled by Gloria (like always), who rearranges his fancy dinner and bought him a motorcycle for dessert (no big).

    The plotline that took the backseat this episode was that of the Dunphy children, but I found myself enamored with them nonetheless. Manny, who was crushing on Haley hard, was trying to convince her to ditch her ex-boyfriend and her current boyfriend because she didn’t need men on Valentine’s Day. However, her ex-boyfriend Dylan saves the day by playing a beautifully aggressive rock song, in the vein of Say Anything…, in order to win her heart back.


  • The restaurant Ibiza. Although this hot spot is apparently lame and for old people, according to Claire, it was frequented by almost every character on this magical Valentine’s Day. It served its role as a plotpoint well.
  • Broderick. Personally, I’m obsessed with last names as first names so this guy pretty much couldn’t lose in my book.
  • Pretty much everything that came out of Phil’s mouth when he played the role of Clive. He is so daft and so dapper at the same time.
  • Gloria, after she “won” Valentine’s Day. Of course, she would make it into a competition. And of course, she would win said competition.
  • Manny’s love advice to Haley. Why does this kid consistently cut to the core of every person’s problems? Get this boy a psychology degree and a chaise lounge, stat.
  • Quotables:

    “David never sent me a jar of his own tears!!” — Haley, comparing her inadequate boyfriend, David, to her hopelessly romantic ex-boyfriend Dylan.

    “I’d like to mount your head in my trophy room.” — Cam, under his breath, after having it out with Broderick.

    “I have exactly $10 million…minus the cost of your next drink.” — Phil. Best pick-up line EVER.


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