Northwestern Nookie: Ejaculation, Orgasm, and the effects of college on your libido
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    We’re Rigo and Sara, two of SHAPE’s newest members, here to answer your questions about sex. We aim to create a space for students to learn and become more comfortable talking about sex by allowing you to submit questions without your names or email addresses attached. We believe there’s no wrong way to have sex; nobody should be judged on their sexual lifestyle, but everyone should consider being safe towards one’s self and one’s partner. So ask us anything!

    Since I got to college, my sex drive has plummeted. I am not depressed or overly stressed or anything. But I am frustrated that I really am not enjoying things that I used to. Are there any particular ways for women to increase their libido?

    Rigo: You may not be feeling depressed or stressed out, but moving to a different city, state or country (depending on where you’re from) can affect your libido. You might be eating differently, working out significantly less or just don’t find your potential partners as attractive. A lot of things change when you come to college; there could be a million reasons you’re not as eager to roll in the hay as you used to be.

    Sara: There’s hope for increasing your libido. Logically, if a lack of exercise can make you less interested in sex, then more exercise may make you eager to jump in the sack.

    If you know what gets you “excited,” you can prepare ahead of time when you know you’re getting lucky. Erotic novels (you can get some at CVS, but for real quality, take the El to either Early to Bed or Tulip), stores that get some people really worked up. You can find everything from short stories to graphic novels to long, complex plots. In that same vein, porn can also get you hot and heavy. Both porn and erotica come in many styles, so don’t rule them all out if one doesn’t work.

    Finally, adrenaline boosts your libido — this is why exercising more can help. So try some new, heart-pumping activities. Roller coasters work really well, as do haunted houses. If you’re like me, and you don’t find that sex is worth dropping off a 50-foot pole upside-down, something like an adventure into the city or sneaking onto the roof of Tech might get your blood pumping.

    How do you know if you’ve had an orgasm? What does an orgasm feel like?

    Sara: If you have to ask if you’ve had an orgasm, you haven’t. Orgasms are many things; subtle is not one of them. As for what it feels like, everyone has a different experience. Some people have intense, out-of-body type orgasms, whereas others might have many smaller waves of pleasure. Orgasms have been described as earthquakes, but also as sneezes.

    Some people also find that the orgasm they have depends on what activity they’re doing. An orgasm from masturbating might be different from an orgasm from intercourse; both might be different from an oral sex-gasm.

    We want to hear your experiences: go to our anonymous site and finish the sentence “To me an orgasm feels like…” and we’ll publish it in next week’s column!

    Rigo: It’s understandable for anybody to not know what an orgasm feels like, especially women. According to a survey in 2004, 74% of men reported always having orgasms compared to only 30% of women. It’s normal for women to not have orgasms, and if this is the case for you, try changing things up in bed. Look to our older article for more suggestions.

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