Sex, religion or safety: What did we really want?

    If you were feeling a little conflicted and contradicted these past few days, you weren’t the only one. At Northwestern this week, we couldn’t decide which direction to go — so we went in just about every one of them.

    The air was thick with dildos and Bibles being pelted every which way by the College Feminists and the Northwestern University Council of Religions (NUCOR), since it was both Sex Week and Religious Awareness Week. Imagine the time and energy that could’ve been saved if the two were combined: There could have been a proper missionary-position lesson (taught by missionaries), sexual/Freudian interpretation of the Bible, or tantric reading of the Torah. It’s something to think about for next year.

    Heavenston couldn’t quite make up its mind this week either: Should it be a sleepy suburb or South Side wannabe? It’s a good thing the College Fems passed out free rape whistles this week, since we’re all feeling a little less safe at night in light (or dark) of the Bobb robbery and Ridge apartment break-in. Let’s hope the prospies coming for Wildcat Days don’t find out about this — we don’t want to scare them (and their SAT scores) away.

    The psychology department in association with Kellogg also thoroughly confused us this week by going against everything our D.A.R.E. counselors ever told us. Self-esteem can be bad for you? According to the recent study, boosting someone’s self-esteem with positive feedback can cause that person to try to preserve their ego, which can create an impulse to justify bad decisions. This can be common in the workplace, when managers try to motivate employees with praise. Let’s hope no one tries this on whoever thought rearranging the dining halls over break was a good choice.

    The week also saw its share of death and rebirth. Specifically, notable alumnus and actor Charlton Heston died Saturday to the dismay of passionate Ben Hur fans everywhere. However, notable alumnus and actor Zach Braff was resurrected when Scrubs mercifully returned to the airways Thursday. While it’s obviously not an equal trade, it was probably enough to keep more students glued to NUTV on Thursday night than to Annie Sprinkle or Nicholas Kristof — and one of them is a porn star.

    It’s been a week of contradictions. You’ve probably already decided whether you’ve fallen in love with your professors or can’t wait to teach them a lesson with some stinging CTECs. Seniors are savoring their last moments before real life, while prospies come looking to fill the space. It’s a little chaotic, but that’s the way we like it.


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