Gone are the days when we raced to tear open our carefully wrapped toys we had been dreaming of and hoping for all year. Ever since childhood faded away, and we surpassed the Mattel age range, the anticipation of unwrapping presents has dwindled by the year.
Now as impoverished college students, the few gifts we receive usually consist of some cash, gift cards or cheap knickknacks from the Urban Outfitters sale section. While free stuff is always great, nothing can replace the excitement of playing with your newly-unboxed toy for the first time.
This year, it’s time for a change. Put a little excitement and spice back into the holiday season and give the gift of orgasmic bliss with adult sex toys. Here are a few of the best-selling sex toys from popular shops in the Chicago area. There are a variety of toys to choose from whether you’re buying for a pro or a newbie, so get shopping. ‘Tis the season to get steamy.
The Inexperienced Couple: First Timer’s Kit
This compact kit is ideal for those less experienced with sex toys. It comes with a Silver Bullet vibrator, for great clitoral stimulation, and a Shane vibrator for more vaginal stimulation. Both toys have a range of speeds. It also comes with a Chubby Bunny Sleeve for textural variety, lube, and batteries. This kit is a wonderful stocking-stuffer for your friend or girlfriend. $28
The Sensual Couple: Hitachi Magic Wand Massager
Made for comfort and known as the “Cadillac of Vibrators,” the wand is a great toy to enjoy solo or with a partner. It can be used as a regular body massager or intimately and feels great with massage oil. Although it only has two speeds, the soft vinyl wand provides intense overall stimulation. This versatile vibrator will be a bedside favorite long after the holidays have passed. $49.95
The Playful Couple: The Screaming O
This incredibly popular, disposable cock ring is great for couples looking for a little oomph in the bedroom. The soft, stretchy ring sits snugly at the base of the penis, and has seven vibrating pleasure knobs as well as pleasure ticklers for your partner to ensure fiery orgasms for both of you. At only six bucks apiece, this ring makes a great gift for your partner and friends. $5.95
The Kinky Couple: Vamp Silicone Liberace anal plug
This silky smooth, 100% silicone toy is a mix between a butt plug and anal beads. Whether for solo or couples play, the six-inch, three-tier beaded toy provides intense anal stimulation. While it is a little pricy, this is a great gift if your partner is the experimental type. $40
The Busy Couple: Tenga Deep Throat Cup Ultra
Behold, the perfect blowjob… in a cup. This rather remarkable invention simulates the feel of a deep fellatio with a virtual vacuum inside the cup. The pinched-in shape of the structure creates tightness while the lotion reservoir at the bottom for the cup keeps your penis moist. Depending on how intense you like your suction you can either close or open the air valve at the top. For budget-friendly $13.00, you can surprise your friends or boyfriend with this awesome toy. $13
The Couple Who Loves the Holidays: Candi Pack
Already stuffed in its own red velvet stocking, this festive kit comes with a candy cane shaped glass dildo, a packet of WET lubricant, and a mistletoe. The dildo is about 11 inches long and is great for solo or couples play. This is the perfect gift for your friends or girlfriend if they’re all about the holidays. $33