Super Bowl commercials live blog!

    Check out all of the Super Bowl ads here.

    The Super Bowl is the premiere United States sporting event, a game millions of Americans tune in to. A large chunk of those viewers don’t even care about the gridiron action; they watch for the commercials, usually 30-second spots companies labor over for a year’s time, knowing how important it is to make an impact on the millions of viewers. The ads are almost as big as the game itself, and have become one of the most anticipated parts of Super Sunday.

    So, here at NBN, we are going to keep one eye on the Bears-Colts, but also keep a running journal of the ads popping up between timeouts. Here is the Super Bowl Commercial Live Blog!

    5:20 - Billy Joel just sang a lukewarm National Anthem. And here’s Jessica Simpson shilling out Pizza Hut pizza again. The former Newlyweds star is stuck in Super Bowl commercial hell; the slots before the actual game are so forgettable, it’s almost sad. Well, at least the pizza looks tasty.

    5:25 - A floating, dissected car! Oh, now it’s coming together! It is like Body Worlds, but for a car. And the guy talking seems like a total Jim Belushi-wannabe, which isn’t good. Great job Ford on making the lamest commercial thus far.

    5:35 - Wow, the Bears come out of the gate fast. But can the commercials keep up? Budweiser is going to try with gooero rpd-ol slapstick rock-in-the-eye humor. Pretty good. Doritos is trying to make car accidents funny. I see a theme of pain developing. And Blockbuster keeps it up, but mixes it up with animal abuse. PETA’s on it, I’m sure. Oh, and PRINCE IS THE PEPSI SUPER BOWL HALFTIME SHOW.

    5:42 - Comedian Jim Gaffigan sports a beard comb-over and roller skates for Sierra Mist. Wait, Sierra Mist is showing ANOTHER one? Wow, that was soon? Neither are very good (how does Michael Ian Black get any work?), so, back to the game.

    5:47 - BOTCHED SNAP!!! This Toyota commercial, on the other hand, is kinda cool; if that was real, that was pretty badass. Space — a forgettable frontier. Oh, and Europe “The Final Countdown,” super original. And a guy died. OK, auctioneers make everything funnier, and Bud Light capitalizes with its sped-up marriage spot. That was the best ad so far, though that isn’t saying much.

    5:55 - LOL Gay. OK, I guess ripping out large chunks of our hair is masculine. Thanks for the lesson Snickers! I mean, really, so far these commercials aren’t extremely smart, but rather just using lame comedy tropes like “pain” and “man touching.” Not great so far.

    5:58 – Wow, another commercial, that was quick. Celebrities singing about cars? Like “My Love,” T.I. makes this better. But this is going way too long. CARLOS MENCIA!!! Oh no, I want to walk out now. I swear, if he could be shot to the moon, the world would be a better place. Oh, and there is Justin Timberlake. Hey, Oprah and David Letterman. That’s funny, because we know who they are. Right?

    6:15 - That was a long stretch of time without commercials. But time for Hot women, all they know how to do. Oh, it’s the Coke ad they show before every movie at Century. Coca-Cola sure is lazy. Plus, Grand Theft Auto ain’t remotely like this sunshiny depiction. That’s it? After one quarter, the ads are really missing the mark. Hoping for a surge later on.

    6:22 - Sad dog getting his day. Obviously pandering towards the girly demographic (my grandma’s going nuts right now), this Bud ad is OK, but no classic. Dog’s cute, though. Gals in here going nuts. Garmin what!!!! Out of know where, a Godzilla/Ultraman/every Japanese giant monster movie ever parody involving an evil map and a GPS-Man. The smartest ad of the night, and easily the best so far. That one’s going to be hard to top. And the music was great.

    6:30 - I’m still floored by the great Garmin ad. Here’s’s spot about white-collar employees dying. The best violence-oriented ad yet, but not a standout. C’mon, the giant monsters were good. A college-made ad comes on and is pretty great. A bunch of shirtless men wash a Chevy truck. I don’t know why I liked it so much, but it was good. Who knew “Hot in Hurr” was still relevant?

    6:35 - More physical humor! Slapping people in the face is the new fist pump. OK, next. Man dressed as a heart. He’s under attack from various diseases. That was a pretty dumb. Really, it is safe to say this game has been dominated by lame, painful gags. Still time left. Oh, and K-Fed should be coming soon.

    6:38 - Wow, super fast. Robots, the new sad puppy? This is pretty good. Making machines human. Suicide!? Wow, that was nuts, pretty good. Coke, why are you so lazy? Nothing I didn’t see before Children of Men. Very weak. But the sad robot was good.

    6:45 - OK, I don’t want to talk about Tim Allen, so I just want to say how good the suicidal machine was. Ha, Connectile Dysfunction. That’s cute. But nothing terribly brilliant. Oh, and the Colts look really good this quarter. Almost as good as the Garmin ad.

    6:49 - Me and fellow blogger Jason Plautz have a quick chat about who will blog the half-time show. It is me. Get excited.

    6:52 - Frito-Lay playing the sap card. There’s always one ad going for the lame heatwarming angle, and it always makes me want to vomit up my Domino’s Pizza. OK, well, the Colts line up for a field goal, we get a Coke ad that I haven’t seen in a movie theater. Old guy does wacky stuff. Not that good. Coke is really messing up the night.

    6:56 - End of first-half. Halftime show time!

    7:06 - Prince, not Queen! A wedding? Prince is so weird, but good. What’s with the rag though? Not very well dressed. I like the stage, a lot. Where do they get all the screaming girls to stand on the field and jump around? Crazy guy with tamborine running around in background. LASERS!!! The rain is kinda cool. Prince is hitting those high squeal notes well. Even though he looks kinda….weird. I can’t put my finger on it. Here comes the Florida A&M marching band. Pretty cool. I’m in love with that stage. And a lot of stuff is exploding. Much better than The Rolling Stones last year. I’m diggin’ the glow in the dark uni’s the bands sporting. Slowing things down? Risky. Why Foo Fighters? This is about Prince, not some shitty rock band who haven’t done anything good since “Everlong.” Where’s “Doves Cry”? HERE COMES THE CRAZY GUITAR. OK, this is what I wanted; purple stage, no rag, glowing things. Glad they fit “Purple Rain” in. Yes Prince, you can play this guitar. HOLY SHIT, huge shadow. I love this. Brilliant. This is reminding me of “Tron” crossed with….uh “Purple Rain.” Birds? Wow this is a gooder. Best half-time show in a while. Good job Pepsi.

    7:23 - Carlos Mencia should be banned from the Universe. That is all.

    7:40 - Wow, Indy sure knows how to own the clock. Oh no, Disney making more CGI movies about animals or something. A film about Tomorrowland? Can’t be good. E-Trade, no. Good try. COKE WHY ARE YOU NOT ORIGINAL. I’VE SEEN THIS A MILLION TIMES BEFORE. JUST TRY SOMETHING NEW.

    7:43- One good trend from these ads: no monkeys doing funny things. Bud Light is closest to resorting to overplayed ideas, but mixes it up with talking gorillas. Pretty bad. And I’m not sure what’s worse: Rex Grossman’s play or the Sheryl Crow spot?

    7:48 - Promotion pit? Eh, not so good. More talking animals. A Khan reference? Way to ruin your Super Bowl spot Taco Bell. Are there any Emerald Nut ads this year? They are usually good.

    7:55 - Another Toyota stunt ad. These are pretty cool, especially if they are real. WHAT!? Robert Goulet running amuck. Pretty brilliant. It’s Emerald Nuts, and they deliver a big winner. Great stuff. Emerald is becoming a power-player on Super Sunday.

    7:58 - Fed-Ex again. Hope someone doesn’t die. Obvious humor. Not very good. Here’s the Kevin Federline commercial. I kinda wish this one hadn’t leaked, otherwise I would have felt it was a lot better. I feel bad for this Bud Light commercial. No one is paying attention to it after K-Fed. An okay commercial. I hope “The Hitcher” hasn’t inspired any new trends. And I don’t believe CSI is still the most watched show on TV.

    8:11 - Katie Couric may be the most annoying person in this Super Bowl. Wait, is suicide the new theme? So, can we laugh at emo kids now? Cargill just wasted a lot of money on animals looking at a truck.

    8:14 - The crabs are worshipping a cooler. These ads are really fizzling out now. And a car just sitting there. Oh, and I’m stunned how long Survivor has gone. Shouldn’t it be cancelled by now? Back to the game.

    8:25 - Colts pulling away with this one. Here are the guys from American Chopper selling….something. I didn’t pick up on it. Jay-Z playing some game. Weird, how does this make me want a brewski? And why is Budweiser the only brewing company running anything?

    8:33 - While a Flomax ad plays, one quick quip: are all the faux Bears fans going to jump ship now? I love bandwagon fans, and I feel a lot of people are going to be especially devastated by the end of the night. And there really IS a lot you can do with one finger.

    8:40 - I swear, anymore of these Promotion Pit super painful ads, I’m going to scream. They are a perfect example of running an OK idea into the ground.

    8:45 - I bet the Bears are feeling like that ignored robot from the GM ads. Don’t jump guys : (

    8:50 - Two minute warning, basically the last batch of new commercials. Cars driving by gas. Yeah, I have a feeling we are done with the new ads. I’m right, here’s the ad again. It isn’t better the second time. Oh, NFL Network stuns me with a great, late commercial. And a pretty funny Brett Favre joke. They’ve done them before, but the Favre joke made this one. Nice.

    9:00 - And, that’s the game. Colts take it, and pretty much dominate it. The ads were pretty weak, and physical comedy (aka “haha he got hit in the face”) was the dominant theme, along with a rather disturbing reliance on suicide. The best ads were really, really good, and will hopefully be remembered for a while, but everything else was completely forgettable. Maybe next year, some original ideas can break through.

    Top 5 Ads:

    5. NFL Network – As a Packer fan, the Favre joke at the end made it for me, and pushed this ad to the forefront for me.

    4. The Toyota Truck spots – Really cool looking. I like nutty stunts, so these were really cool.

    3. Suicidal Machines – GM’s ad about a really sad machine was funny, even if the suicide thing became overplayed later in the night.

    2. Emerald Nuts – Robert Goulet out of nowhere. Emerald Nuts delivered again, and are now a legitimate heavyweight in the Super Bowl ad game.

    1. Garmin – Best ad of the night, from a company I didn’t know existed. Maybe I just have a soft spot for giant monster movies, but this ad floored me, and was without a doubt the funniest spot of the night. I hope Garmin can keep it up.

    Worst 5 Ads:

    5. – Why are GoDaddy ads always considered so controversial? The only thing to argue about is how horrible the spot really was.

    4. Some medication or something – Heart attack. An OK concept that didn’t go anywhere.

    3. Fed-Ex – A “meh” ad became total trash when they used the super-overplayed “Final Countdown.” I hope this song is finally put to rest.

    2. Hair Coloring Product – Sheryl Crow isn’t interesting.

    1. Every Coca-Cola ad – Why even run ads when you’ve already been showing them before movies for the past year. Sheer laziness, and they aren’t even that good to start with.


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