NBN:You meet a prospie you dislike. Finish this sentence: If you come to Northwestern, I am prepared to…
Aaron Eisenberg:Give you a meal plan that only consists only of JK Sweets and Chicken Bar. Or keep Stephen Demos on the football team.
NBN: You meet a prospie you like, so you want him or her to come to Northwestern. Finish this sentence: If you come to Northwestern, I am prepared to…
AE: If you come to Northwestern, I am prepared to knock 10 hours off of your Dance Marathon time. Thirty is too many. For you? Twenty. Not even dancing a full day.
NBN: Celebrities have huge drawing power. Name drop the best celeb NU alum.
AE: Genghis Khan, he graduated in ’84. And then God, he was ’79. And Zach Braff is OK, he’s OK. And so is Stephen Colbert. And, uh, who else? Charlton Heston, if you like the Alzheimer’s or the NRA. Or you just have a Moses thing going, but Moses also graduated: he was ’71.
NBN: Real questions from the Class of Northwestern 2014 Facebook group. I hear Northwestern gets cold in the winter.
AE: Oh do you? You hear Northwestern gets cold? Geez! Did you actually visit here, or do you know about the city of Chicago and the climate? That’s great. You’re very well-read.
NBN: Another question from the Class of Northwestern 2014 Facebook group. Also would anyone be willing to give us a briefing on the Qatar campus?
AE: Cutter or Qatar or Cater is a mystical land far, far away that we decided to put a lot of money into. What goes on there? I’m not sure. To be totally honest, I’ve never even seen it on a map. Does it exist? Maybe. Is the address Henry Bienen’s house? Definitely. Not sure what goes on in Cutter.
NBN: If you could hand select one member of the class of 2014, who would it be and why?
AE: Is Justin Bieber? Is he available? Is he too young? The Biebs? Aw man, it’s gotta be the Biebs. For sure Justin Bieber.