Brody and Jade: It’s getting ridiculous. Can they just break up already? Their little conversation at the beginning of the episode was pointless and boring. Not to mention that the blue headband, Jade, has to go.
Enzo: Why? Why are you still in the show? Who are you?
And now let’s discuss the text message. We all knew the eponymous text message Justin Bobby sent to Kristin, “Sorry boo, strike two,” although witty, was big fat bullshit. Justin Bobby should just shut up already. He’s an idiot and he’s not funny. His games are stupid and pointless. And then he shows up and acts like a hot wet douchebag… get over yourself, JB. I’m certainly over you.
Holly. Holy shit. She was D-RUNK. And it was hilarious.
Brody and Jade fought again. And broke up again. My favorite part was when Jade told Brody, “You shouldn’t drink so much.” I practically died. Here is Jade, dipso of the century, drunk and crying again and she delivers possibly the best line of the episode. Finally Brody and Jade got into what I hope was their last fight. I’m praying they’re done for real. Jade is gross and stupid and annoying and I don’t really care about her. Leave now. Please. With Jordin Sparks’ “Battlefield” as your exit. Peace.
No real discussion on The Hills would be complete without a discussion of the intervention. Let’s be real, Stephanie does know what she’s talking about. Things got strangely emotional. I mean, this isn’t Grey’s Anatomy. And then Holly, of course, stormed out. We all know where she’s going…to hit the bottle. Maybe she’s a lost cause. Or maybe I just like to watch her dance.
Next week: Spencer is ready to have a baby? I’m not ready for him to have a baby. And… Audrina-Kristin blow-up! Can’t wait! The moment we’ve all been waiting for!
Final verdict: Jade’s exit was basically the highlight of my Tuesday night.