Not sure what to be for Halloween? No worries, Mitt Romney seems to be having the same problem. He's tried on several masks over the last year. Which mask will he be rocking this Wednesday? Here are some of his options:
Mitt the grandfather
This is my favorite version of Mitt: the family guy. Doesn't a hug between a grandfather and his 18 grandchildren just melt your heart? Everybody loves that grandfather who buys candy and reads stories. I know bringing out all the grandchildren is probably just a gimmick, but look at how adorable they are. When Mitt's pulling the "I have strong family values" card, I couldn't care less about his binders or 5 point plan: it's just so precious. Hopefully the money Mitt saved paying a 14.1% tax rate will go towards a nice Romney family vacation. Those kids deserve it for having to sit through all of Romney's debates.
Mitt the moderate
The Democratic party spent a lot of time labeling Romney as this ultra conservative, far right candidate...and then Romney ruined it by being insanely moderate. All of a sudden, we have this guy who thinks women should have access to contraceptives and that the middle class shouldn't have to pay any higher taxes. I guess we like the 47 percent now? Unfortunately for Mitt, the Democrats were prepared for this change and diagnosed Mitt with Romnesia.
Mitt of Bain Capital
Obama loves to bring attention to this version of Mitt: the stealing, manipulative, "I'm-going-to-destroy-your-business-and-get-paid-for-it" type of guy. Romney's spin on this? He's helping people, because the money is going to real human pockets! But in reality, Romney spent several years directing the outsourcing of jobs at many Bain-controlled companies. With a mask like that, Mitt might as well be the other Bane.
Mitt the governor
Romney's term in office was more than five years ago, but he talks about it as if it was just yesterday. I know you're old and the time passes by fast, but come on Mitt: Let it go. We know your school systems were pretty solid. You brought it up at every single debate. But what about your changing views on same-sex parents? Romney acts like he spent a majority of his time working with Democrats and fixing major problems like education, but he did shut down his fair share of Democratic ideas during his term. I'm sure he'll have no problems reaching across the aisle, though. And killing Obamacare. Yeah, that won't be awkward at all.
Mitt the Olympic organizer
In 2002, Romney was hired as the president and CEO of the Olympic Winter Games held in Salt Lake City, Utah. Being the president of the Olympics was essentially the same thing as being president...because balancing the $1.45 billion Olympic budget is essentially the same as lowering a $16 trillion debt. He even wrote a book about it. And as if that wasn't enough, he also called out London by saying that their preparations looked "disconcerting."
I don't know, Mitt. You know what I find disconcerting? Your plan to reform immigration, repeal Obamacare and approve construction for Keystone all on the first day of office. Good luck with that one.