The sexile

    Photo by Shaunacy Ferro / North by Northwestern.

    Dear Diary,

    Thank god for Barnes & Noble. Let me explain. It’s not just that I’m a devout B&N fan. Just 30 minutes ago, I walked all the way across campus (brrr factor greater than Gucci Mane, btws) from a study abroad info sesh (Istanbul here I come!), finally made it to my door and, to my great personal shock, found it locked.

    So I thought to myself: Self, did you lock that? No, no definitely not. Which means Jenny must have, but that’s weird because we never lock it because it’s such a pain digging out your keys every time you want to get in – and then I realized that I hadn’t looked at my phone in a while. Suspicion welling in my chest, I conscientiously decided NOT to go in MY room and instead found my phone and sure enough there was “1 New Text Message” from Jenny saying, “me n scott are in the room if thats chill. let me know if you need it.” And so, pausing only briefly to put my ear to the door and listen for telltale noises (the laundry dryers were going next door, so no such luck), I stalwartly headed back into the cold. Such a good roommate/friend/woman (me, not Jenny – she sort of sucks).

    I got a coffee at Starbucks. I needed a place to sit, but I didn’t want to be one of those people that sits at Starbucks and journals or reads The New Yorker or whatever so I walked to Barnes & Noble and sat at the Starbucks in there instead. Bought a Rolling Stone magazine because my dad used to subscribe and it felt a little home-y to go through it. Also bought this Moleskine because I felt like wasting nine dollars. Now I can be one of those asshole religion majors or whatever that carry around Moleskines. Errrgh.

    Scott better finish right quick – not that Jenny’ll get to (zing!) – cuz I’ve been wanting to watch “Psych” all day and my laptop’s stuck in there and it’s getting really fucking cold outside and I don’t want to walk back too much later….

    I’m considering starting “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” just because there are a million fucking copies here. Whatever. More later I guess. Ciao.


    Okay so it turns out “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” is super boring. And it’s even colder out than before. I just had to walk like four blocks because Barnes & Noble closed and the only place left open is Starbucks. I’ve become what I’ve fought my whole life. Grr.

    Texted Jenny approx. twenty minutes ago but no answer. Way to go, Scott. I guess.

    Sigh. Maybe I’ll see what Emma’s up to. I’ve read every caption in this Rolling Stone maybe four times. Lil Wayne is writing lyrics down again I guess. I just want to watch “Psych.” Seriously. Tired.

    This is a diary. This should be my soul. I should write deeper things about myself.

    I’m an English major. I was born in Columbus, OH. My parents are divorced, not that it matters actually.

    NVM. That feels weird.

    Oh god. Just remembered I have a ‘blog’ ‘due’ for my international relations class. It was supposed to be done at 8:30 p.m. actually. That sucks. Don’t know why I’m in an international relations class either.


    Holy Christ Scott Blow Your Load and Get Out of My Room! What is this tantric bullshit? Agh.

    I’ve resorted to sitting in the laundry room like the creepy sophomores that haven’t made friends yet. Still no word from Jenny. Doing my best not to picture them grunting/bellowing/etc. next door.

    Finally texted Emma just so I wouldn’t go crazy by myself waiting, but no reply from her either. Pretty much, I’m just the saddest person ever.

    Okay. So Gary from upstairs just came down to get his laundry so I had to stop writing and say hi. Gary has bad teeth and is also among the most uncomfortable conversationalists any sad little woman could give birth to. But I was nice. Asked him about class and stuff. He was making mini-pizza bagels. That’s the most interesting thing I could tell you about Gary.

    Fuck it. I’m texting Jenny again.



    Can’t concentrate. This sucks. Feel all mentally itchy. Seriously. Where is everybody?

    For some reason I just dialed my mom’s number and then remembered it’s like 1:27 a.m. and hung up. Felt something drop away from me a little bit. That homesick way. Like the first afternoon at camp. I haven’t felt that way in a long time. Not actually feeling bad. No worries. Just forgot I could feel that way.

    Wish Emma would text me back or something. Even tried Ethan too. Nothing.



    K so either I’m a dumbass, or Jenny’s the worst roommate ever. I finally knocked on our door. No answer. So I dug out my key and held my breath and went in and nobody was there. And somebody had left the heater on so it was approx. a thousand degrees. And it smelled funky.

    It’s 2:08. I have a 9 a.m. discussion tomorrow. Would skip, but I’m pretty sure they fail you for that. Actually, not sure. Just paranoid.

    Feel dead. Given up checking my phone.

    Don’t even want to watch “Psych.”


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