Top 10 wackiest Northwestern CollegeACB posts

    CollegeACB is a site full of gossip, rumors and a whole lot of hate. With a large number of threads discussing Greek Life or the best looking people on campus, some of the stranger thread topics are often overshadowed. Let’s take a look at the more interesting topics discussed on Northwestern’s CollegeACB:

    CollegeACBers often discuss fraternity and sorority rankings. The creators of these threads are sometimes ridiculed for allegedly promoting their own house. One respondent to “frattiest silverware” satirizes the concept of biased rankings: “Are you kidding me? Forks and Knives need to stop coming on ACB and writing about themselves. It’s disgusting you self-promoting ass holes. Anyone notice how they’ve “miraculously” become tier one?!?!”

    It was actually being used for a science demonstration. I must say, a horse chasing you through the labyrinth of Tech sounds horrific.

    Ranking Evanston’s delivery options? This is a thread that all Northwestern students can contribute to in order to ostracize all the lower tier delivery restaurants. Who would ever want to order Papa John’s when it’s bottom tier? Everyone knows Beta Kappa (more commonly referred to as BK) belongs on top.

    If frats actually warded off evil with telekinesis and other abilities associated with Ki, rush numbers would probably skyrocket. Alcohol and other substances are obviously just ways for brothers to access their inner subconscious and the powers that lie deep within.

    The creator of this thread probably recognized that many of Northwestern’s students come from all parts of the country and world, and that many different airlines are chosen for travel. The thread starter was only trying to facilitate healthy discussion about the variety of airplane peanuts. Which airline gives the biggest bags? Whose are the saltiest? The debate rages on.

    It’s a little known fact that the patella is often the deal breaker between simply making out with someone and going all the way. With just the right hygiene and curvature of kneecaps, you’ll be sure to get your date on their knees.  Don’t get caught up in the superficiality of all of it, though, like some contributors on the thread. One even made demands: “PICS OF UR CAPS OR GTFO.” What an orthopedic predator.

    “Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally” is a phrase that most college students have not uttered in years. Medill students and history majors have probably not been faced with a mathematical problem of this magnitude since high school. It’s refreshing to see users of CollegeACB reviewing their arithmetic.

    Supposedly Easy A was her last film. Will she (gasp!) never return? She seemed to have a whole career ahead of her after What I Like About You. Amanda, please! Northwestern CollegeACB users need something to discuss.

    First the Tech horse, and now unicorns — there seems to be legitimate concern regarding equine life on Northwestern’s campus. Maybe the mascot should be changed from the Wildcats to the Unicorns. It might increase our chances of beating Notre Dame in 2014 and 2018, since everyone knows unicorns are considered a top status mythical creature while leprechauns are at the bottom of the ladder (someone needs to start a CollegeACB thread about mythical creature rankings). Unfortunately, unicorns do not possess the power to fly, as pointed out by one anonymous unicorn connoisseur: “No that’s only Pegasus. And they SCURRY when they’re SCARED. Prancing is for jolly time only!”

    Always an interesting debate. It seems clear to me that mutton chops should be on the top of everyone’s lists, with their elegant symmetry and perfect weight distribution. But there’s no concrete correct answer.


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