Nothing puts a damper on a fun night like a pissed off RA or police officer knocking on your door. Whether you’re having a rowdy dorm room kickback or packed into a frat house with 600 sweaty, intoxicated crazies, there’s a good chance a party you’re attending will get busted at one point during your time at NU. However, the real question of the hour is what to do when it happens. Here are just a couple ways to minimize the damage already done to your night out.
Trick the fuzz, get treated with freedom!
With Halloween parties around the corner, it’s time to be strategic about dressing up. Why not a very realistic police officer costume? It might take a bit of a splurge on a convincing badge and uniform, but it might be convenient if the boys in blue come knocking at your Halloween hoedown. Play it cool, walk around looking a couple people sternly in the eyes and then slowly, slowly back out of the building...
Quick! Create a distraction!
Need a moment to sober up, find a route out, or find a place to hide? Throw them off the trail! You’ll need one self-sacrificing friend over 21 to knock over an empty keg into a table covered with empty cans. Or even better, if your friend is suave, ask them to sweet talk the figure of authority in question: “Have you been working out, Officer Sweetie? Oh sorry, Officer Sweeney.” Though it won’t be your most available move at every party, if you have the resources you need to work ‘em!
Literally party “hop” from ZBT or Pike to CCS.
This one only works for a select few lucky people who have friends living in our trusty College of Cultural and Community Studies, situated in the middle of the fraternity quad. To be specific, this one only works for people with friends in rooms with windows facing either frat – windows that they are willing to open to welcome an incoming YOU. In a moment of desperation, you could feasibly put those McCormick skills to use and make a zipline from a pull-up bar and bedsheets, or simply hardcore parkour jump to safety. Not today, NUPD!
Quiet down ASAP by turning down whatever 2 Chainz song is blasting, because a noise complaint is most likely why you’re receiving this courtesy call.
Hide the evidence!
If you’re underage, put down that cup of “Sea Breeze” or Natty Light immediately, and encourage any underage person near you to do the same. Any other illegal substances should be tucked and stowed as well.
Don’t scream or cry hysterically.
Just kidding, you’re not a toddler anymore. But really do attempt to not overreact or freak the hell out. It takes just one person to whip everyone at a party into a tense frenzy, which is not what figures of authority want to be dealing with late at night.
Stop, cooperate and listen.
Residential staff and the NUPD just want what’s safest, healthiest, and makes the most people happy. You can’t fault them for that. Open the door, answer their questions, politely listen to their demands, and don’t sass unless you’re willing to come out of it with more than just a write-up.
Cool it, bro.
After they leave, turn DOWN. Whoever it was that just had to deal with you kids will be a lot less understanding if they have to come back to the same room an hour later. If it’s your party, send some people home if you have to. If you’re at some rager with your friend group, suggest a trip to Cheesie’s before it closes. You will have many other weekends to cause even more disturbances to the Evanston public.
All in all, an encounter a residential director or the fuzz isn’t the worst thing that could happen at a party. Keep a cool head and you’ll come out unscathed, to play slap cup another day.