Want to hook a guy? Keep your distance

    Too many Northwestern girls are disillusioned by strings of meaningless hookups, or no hookups at all. Many can recall a relationship back home that meant a great deal more than last Saturday night but turning flirtation or a hookup into a relationship is difficult. However, ladies, the key to hooking a guy, and keeping him interested, is not showing interest. It’s an exercise in restraint and distance. Don’t sell yourself short.

    It happens like this: The cute Turkish guy in your class was just a friend until you ran into him on a Friday night at a frat house. You’d had him in the back of your mind for some time, and you were pleasantly surprised that he happened to be here.

    The game, if you will, is played from here on out. Think of these social situations like fishing. The goal is to catch a fish and you’re using a line, a hook and some bait. The fish is largely interested in the bait and you’re interested in hooking the fish. Now, if you tie the bait too loosely to the hook, the fish will simply bite the bait and leave, unhooked. If it’s tied just right though, you’ll give the bait to the fish only if it’s hooked — on you, that is.

    Your appeal hinges upon a couple of key elements that are often overlooked, but are true when first exchanging glances or maintaining the flame in your relationship. Your appeal lies in your value. The beautiful part, however, is that you can influence your how men perceive your value.

    One of the key words behind these ideas is restraint. I don’t suggest assuming another persona when speaking to men. Deception is harmful to whomever you’re pursuing but to yourself as well. Restraint of your natural character is the name of the game, and its played only by controlling the rate at which you let yourself go. Restraint is the only difference between the most promiscuous girl on campus and the most upstanding one.

    Always keep options around. It’s crucial. Start talking to that nerdy boy in the corner or that close gay friend — anything to let him know that you’ve got other men in your life. If it seems like there are other options in your life then he perceives that other men have picked up on your value. There is little that will excite a man more than that.

    Finally, there’s nothing like a healthy amount of indifference when speaking to him. Don’t blow him off but not everything he says needs to fascinate you. And the next day, don’t jump to answer his calls or go out of your way to see him. If he’s as interested as you want him to be, then this will only further spark his interest, and he’ll definitely call again.

    Touchy-feely pop culture (think Seventeen magazine) tells you to be yourself. This is good advice, but has its limitations. If being yourself is groveling at the feet of a lover or calling a half-dozen times a day with no response, you need to reevaluate your approach.

    Even if you are in a relationship these rules still apply. Just because he’s switched his Facebook status doesn’t mean you can let down your guard. Though many girls promise themselves to only have sex with their boyfriends, they shouldn’t have sex the second he is their boyfriend either. You’ve got to keep your distance and let him know you’ve still got options. Don’t forget to make him jealous every once in a while, because in small doses, it only adds more fuel to the flames.

    You see, your relationship is always open. You’ve made a mistake the second you believe otherwise. This is not an attack on fidelity. Both men and women should feel the threat of competition, even in their relationships, because there are always other men and women! Women, if you don’t believe me, think about it. He thinks about other girls, just as you think of other guys.

    The point is: It’s crucial to never sell yourself short. You’re asserting your value. You’re ensuring that the only boys you deal with are the ones that know it. 


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