Why Kristen Stewart shouldn't be the face of Vogue

    Kristen Stewart on the cover of the February Vogue. Her blouse is by Proenza Schouler and she was shot by Mario Testino.

    Supposed to hit newsstands Jan. 25, leaked covers of Vogue’s February 2011 issue revealed Kristen Stewart as this month’s cover girl. Recent celebrity cover models include Anne Hathaway, Angelina Jolie and Natalie Portman — all much more established actresses than Stewart. This is extremely disappointing considering Vogue’s reputation for bearing the standard of adult fashion. Stewart hasn’t shown the potential to transcend popular culture that other celebrity cover models have. Some of her mistakes include:

    1. Comparing being photographed by the paparazzi to rape

    In the July issue of ELLE UK, the young star said, “What you don’t see are the cameras shoved in my face and the bizarre intrusive questions being asked, or the people falling over themselves, screaming and taunting to get a reaction. The photos are so- I feel like I’m looking at someone being raped. A lot of the time I can’t handle it. It’s f***ed. I never expected that this would be my life.”

    Any person who compares fame to rape should be blacklisted from being on the covers of magazines. When the cover of Vogue has women such as Michelle Obama and Tina Fey within the past two years, there is a certain expectation that cover models have a level of classiness and awareness. Stewart completely embarrassed herself and showed her incompetence with this statement.

    Sorry Kristen Stewart, while you’re dealing with the onslaught of your scowling face flooding the Internet as a result of “rape” by the paparazzi, real victims are dealing with the psychological and adverse effects of this horrific experience.

    Photo by newamba on Flickr, licensed under Creative Commons.

    2. Because mullets are so 1980s

    Although this was for her role in The Runaways, this choice of hairstyle is totally inexcusable. The worst part is that her hair doesn’t even look washed. And everyone knows that the only person allowed to get away with unwashed hair in Hollywood is Ke$ha.

    3. Twilight

    Most Vogue cover models embody poise and regality. All Kristen Stewart can be proud of is getting luckily cast as a defenseless pseudo-heroine in a lackluster vampire movie franchise. Her previous movie roles are nothing stellar, and the Twilight saga is the only thing that keeps getting her hired.

    4. Because she wore Converses with a dress to an awards show and usually looks like a drugged up hobo

    Photo by editha.VAMPIRE GIRL <333 on Flickr, licensed under Creative Commons.

    Every celebrity is allowed his or her frumpy day, but Stewart’s frumpy weeks are just wrong. Carey Mulligan, showcased in Vogue’s October issue, always looks polished and well-dressed when photographed by paparazzi. Stewart can learn something from her fellow cover girl. On the plus side, at least wasn’t rocking the mullett.

    5. Because she has the same facial expression in every single picture.

    Including the images that have been leaked….

    Photoshop and lots of makeup seems to be beneficial for Stewart, because her eyebags and usually super-stank face are absent in the Vogue pictures. In lots of them, however, she still has the same chronically-botoxed, stiff expression that exemplified her inability to be versatile or anything fashionable.

    But Stewart seems to have really pushed herself because in a couple of the photos she flares her nose and opens her mouth. Her efforts are noble, but not Vogue. It just looks like her face is going to end up like this.

    Nothing about Stewart’s look says high fashion (maybe discomfort and a little bit of indigestion). But hey, at least the dresses she’s wearing are stunning.


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